A Note from Abby Johnson
A pro life activist attempts to convince us this book will be a balanced look at both sides of the abortion debate.
Chapter 1
Abby gets called in to assist with her first abortion. She hadn't done one in the 8 years she'd worked at the clinic. The doctor does ultrasound guided abortions because they're safer. The clinic however does not because its quicker to not use ultrasounds. Their goal is to get the abortions over with as quick as possible. The doctor promised to do it their way.
The doctor was using the ultrasound. Abby had done ultrasounds before so she took the probe and found the fetus. She could a whole body on the ultrasound, not the clumps she was used to seeing. It reminded her of her daughter in utero, who was now 3 years old.
I don't want to watch what is about to happen.
She started at planned parenthood because believed in preventing unwanted pregnancies thus reducing abortions.
The fetus on the ultrasound is 13 weeks along.
She stares in horror at the screen. The fetus jerks away from the cannula. The
She stood there frozen. The patient was crying. She is feeling regret for her life choices. She wheeled the patient out of the room still crying.
Chapter 2
September 2001 she wandered into the Fall Volunteer Fair.
She spends a page yammering on about nothing. Then yet another page describing the fair.
She wandered around the booths and came to one decked out in hot pink.
The woman at the booth explains Planned Parenthood is about helping people. She mentions abortions and Abby says she's pro-life. This didn't spark a debate which she's glad about because she hadn't thought through her opinion.
The woman explains they want to make abortion rare and lists all the services they offer. This is a good description of the pro choice side I have to admit.
Abby asks about volunteer positions and mentions escorts. Shen then explains why escorts are needed.
Abby likes her compassion. Compassion is why she chose to major in Psychology.
Abby and the woman talk. Pro-lifers also protest contraception.
At this point in the book I noted "I already want to bang my head against a wall". Maybe I should have poured a glass of wine first.
She had found a good cause, or had she?
Chapter 3
She was active in church and school clubs. This comes off as bragging.
She called her parents everyday but didn't tell them about volunteering at Planned Parenthood right away. But, it wasn't her first secret.
She had a rebellious phase. She transferred to a community college. There she got her grades up. She also met Mark.
She bonded with Mark's son. They got engaged. She found out she was pregnant.
How could she do college and a baby? "You can just have an abortion." said Mark. She agreed to it.
Her and Mark drove to Houston to have the abortion. She went to a room with the other women to watch a video about the abortion procedure. That was it. That was the counseling.
She then goes on to describe having a medical procedure done. When she came to she was sitting in a chair with the other women from the counseling session. The gave her some crackers.
Whew. That's behind me. I can get on with my life now.
She pushed the memory back into the deep corners of her mind. The only one who knew about it was Mark.
Would she have bought into the volunteer fair woman's presentation if she hadn't have gone through with the abortion?
She goes on about the secret releasing poison. But now its good because it isn't a secret anymore.
Then she talks about her "road". She mentions a literal "fence."
Chapter 4
She shows up to The Clinic for her first day of volunteering no knowing what to expect,
She describes the street its on and the building.
She meets Cheryl the clinic director.
Someone explains to her what her job as an escort is.
A protester was dressed up like the grim reaper. Another one had a sign with an aborted fetus on it, which is gross. This is the second good pro-choice argument I've read in this book. I attempted to keep a running tally but I failed.
The trainer gives her stats on who comes in for abortions.
She goes to her first client but admittedly does a terrible job, she's too busy listening to what the pro lifers are saying.
I have to admit this is a good representation of what pro-life protesters look like to pro-choice people. I doubt pro-life people will see it that way.
She describes the protesters. Some are intimidating, some aren't.
A woman parked in front of the fence and a pro-lifer talks to her and she looks interested.
She finishes her shift and strikes up a conversation with the pro-lifer from earlier. She was being friendly but Cheryl came over and broke it up.
For a page she goes through her mental battle to return.
She talks about how she planned to deal with the protesters.
She talks about Marilisa, the pro-lifer she talked to, like a she's a saint.
Chapter 5
She participates in Lobby Day. A pro-choice march in the state capital. They were given hot pink things to represent Planned Parenthood.
She describes the speech that was given.
She was proud of her involvement.
She felt she had bonded with her fellow clinic workers. She was divorcing Mark and needed that sense of community.
Trust and fidelity weren't part of his plan for marriage.
That was a nice way of saying "He was a lying, cheating sack of crap."
She was bonded with his son and would have to say goodbye.
She was friendly with some of the pro-lifers.
I noted here that she never fails to talk up the pro-lifers but fails to do so for the pro-choicers. Cheryl was described as "business-like". The only exception I can think of was the woman from the volunteer booth, who was trying to be persuasive.
She found out she was pregnant again. She wasn't ready to be a single mother and didn't want to be tied to Mark the rest of her life.
She goes on a rant about how the child already exists. +1 for the pro-life said.
She talks about her parents and how they would've handled it.
She says it was a "crisis pregnancy". What does that mean exactly?
She goes in for the abortion and declines to view the ultrasound photo. She's doing the pill this time.
She cramped and bled for days. She didn't tell anyone about it. It took 2 weeks to go back to work and 8 weeks to go back to the clinic. She didn't tell anyone at the clinic about it.
She is now getting her life back on track.
She became the campus intern. She talked to students at health fairs about STD and HIV screening and contraception alternatives.
She finally told her parents she works at Planned Parenthood.
A friend of hers got upset she was working and when she told her mother that her mother revealed that she was upset about it too.
She started dating Doug, Doug doesn't like abortion.
She talks about Mr. Orozco, a pro-lifer who had shown up on schedule for 33 years.
Shawn, the Coalition for Life leader, made the woman with the aborted fetus sign leave. The Grim Reaper didn't show up again either.
Shawn has the pro-lifers adopt Marilisa's conversational tactics.
She goes on about how pro-lifers and pro-choicers have compassion in common.
Chapter 6
Shawn Carney knocks on a coworker's door campaigning for a "pray to end abortion" event. They knocked on 25,000 homes. Abby didn't know if she wanted to pray. She wanted a decrease in abortions but she wanted them accessible for those who needed them.
She convinces herself she needed those 2 abortions,
The 40 days for life campaign posted volunteers at the gate for every hour of the day. These people just did the conversational tactic.
They were killing us with kindness.
A camera crew showed up for the event. The clinic didn't like this because patients wouldn't want to be filmed, most of them weren't even getting abortions.
Why didn't the clinic workers like the campaign? It was just prayer.
Clearly the implication was God was on their side, not ours...
Within 6 months of the campaign Doug proposed, she graduated with a degree in psychology, and she was offered a full time job at the clinic as an assistant. She would be counseling and doing intake interviews. The job made her happy and she felt fulfilled.
She looked at the ultrasound photo from her pill abortion and she felt sad.
I believed what I had been taught to believe - that the image showed a fetus and not a baby.
She tells her mom they diagnosed a woman wit uterine cancer, they were able to get her to the hospital for a hysterectomy.
A rape victim chose to place her baby for adoption. This was God's work. The coworkers talked among themselves about doing God's work.
If that sounds more like talking points than a conversation between loved ones, you're right.
They don't do abortions on babies, that's right wing propaganda.
Her and the other pro-choice Christians (she specifies Catholics here) convince each other they are doing God's work. Although they only felt like they were helping when the woman chose not to abort.
A rape victim feels guilt about abortion, which isn't uncommon.
Abortion seemed to add a new wound on top of the first.
Her and Doug start attending a church. She didn't want to pray fearing God would tell her to quit her job. She didn't talk about her job to other Christians. Her and Doug sought to join but she was denied because of her job. They never went back, she was hurt.
They visited other christian churches, but the hurt was still there.
What if I were going to hell because of my job?
Her and Doug got married and had plans to go to graduate school. She transferred to another clinic at part time.
They attended another church but only Sunday mornings. Her relationship with God wasn't as close as she would like.
The current clinic doesn't do abortions but she traveled to the other clinic on abortion days to do counseling. Still she felt a weight had been lifted.
She got pregnant. She took a test at work and one of her coworkers joked "we can take care of that."
She told her parents and they were happy. She talks about her parents opinions a lot. I believe this is a reference to the line "Never trust a decision you don't want your mother to know about."
The first time she tells the truth about her abortions was on the medical form asking about previous pregnancies.
She was offered a position at the other clinc as Clinic Director of Community Outreach and Health Education. She was excited.
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